Although designed as a horror comedy, Debbie Wiseman’s Lesbian Vampire Killers (2009) is a grand score that draws from several modern vampire scores – particularly Wojciech Kilar’s use of a mournful vocal elegy in Bram Stoker’s Dracula – but certainly from the opening cue, Killers is a score with a lot of orchestral muscle.

There’s great interplay between solo female voice, choir, and big brass for the gothic cues, but cuts like “Adv_ture” have a delicious wit, derived from a dance rhythm, and spiralling triplets, and a lovely pairing of clarinet and piano, with lilting strings providing a bit of sarcasm near the end of each phrase.

“I Know Something Really Wrong Is Happening Here, But Is There Any Chance We Can Just Ignore It?” is another solid example of humour with snarling brass and strings that delicately squeal and tremble, whereas “You’re a Virgin” moves from slithering metallic strings towards a swaggering, jazzy melody. Woodwinds – particularly clarinets – have some prominent appearances throughout the score, and there’s a bawdy can-can piece (“My aXe Girlfriend”) that adds some colour between heavy suspense cues.

Perhaps the score’s best selling point is the scope that Wiseman creates using plenty of low rumbling percussion and menacing brass waves (“Lesbian Vampire Killers”), as well as short pauses that set up some great surges of vocals and brass.

One cue, “Vampires? Lesbian Vampires!” seems to be a cheeky reference to Alan Silvestri’s Van Helsing, although with less head-smashing bombast and exaggerated brass couplets; and “Full-On Lesbian Vampire Attack!” begins with a huge brass statement that’s an obvious tribute to James Bernard’s unforgettable “Dracula” theme typical of his Hammer sound..

The score’s orchestrations are vivid and sharp, and some cues are capped with dynamic endings, particularly “Run You Bellends!” that has two distinct groups of brass instruments overlapping their fanfares with complete clarity for a fast fadeout.

Silva Screen’s CD features a meaty batch of cues (including a closing song by Showaddywaddy), and the only criticism lies in some of the score’s most amusing cues – “Give Me One Last Kiss” – running under two minutes, and the sometimes heavy reappearance of wordless chanting, but those are minor quibbles with a deftly written score that’s ripe with elegance, wit, and a big digital sound worthy of blasting through the stereo.

© 2009 Mark R. Hasan