A Bloody Night for Teens, Boo-Boos Undone, and CHUDS

August 24, 2011 | By

Once again, little Mary is awoken by the CHUDS.

Just uploaded is a review of Blood Night: The Legend of Mary Hatchet [M] (2009), from indie filmmaker Frank Sabatella.

Apparently the Blu-ray release is unique to Canada, courtesy of Anchor Bay Entertainment Canada, and I’ve detailed the strengths & weaknesses of this gory salute to slasher films, and the disc’s extras. One quick point to make: beautifully robust sound mix; active, detailed, and very fun in a big darkened room.

Quick note: thanks to readers who spotted boo-boos in the review for The Egyptian [M] (1954). Varese Sarabande is the label which released the new 2-disc set of Alfred Newman and Bernard Herrmann’s unique score, and while the historians on the disc’s audio commentary refer to Herrmann being responsible for the Aten theme, it’s actually the work of Newman.

Second quick note: Intrada announced their latest set of new releases. The first: Vol. 2 of Stu Phillips’ grand Battlestar: Galactica music (2 CDs), and John Barry’s The Black Hole – latter being the first legal CD release of Barry’s music which has been mastered from proper sources, with additional unreleased material.

Black Hole is part of Intrada’s new relationship with Disney, and I’m not alone in hoping a project-in-the-works is James Horner’s lovely Something Wicked This Way Comes, perhaps paired with Georges Delerue’s rejected score.

Third quick note: as media reported quite fast, sometime after 2pm on Tuesday, there was an earthquake in Virginia, U.S. A., whose ripples went as far as my office in Toronto. I was sitting with my legs against the desk of the wall unit, sipping coffee when my chair and the unit gently swayed back and forth for maybe 10 seconds.

At first I jiggled back and forth, thinking maybe I was responsible for some involuntary spasmodiums, but then I started to wonder if it was a quake.

Turns out, it was.

This is my second encounter with CHUDS bumping into the teak support beams which keep the North American plates above sea level. The last time I felt their force was maybe 8 years ago, when I was awoken by the clanging of glasses on a night table, and what felt like Pazuzu shaking my bed (which of course is pure nonsense).

What happened Tuesday is very simple: CHUDS maintain a massive railroad system to ferry cabbage-sized atoms at lightening speed to ensure there’s a neutral magnetic field (neutrinomagnetobanaliscopy) which stops the Earth’s core from exerting its full power and creating a giant implosion of the tectonic plates.

CHUDS use teak because it’s a firmer wood that isn’t affected by the sound waves and heat from the diamond railway, but there are times when things go awry, and a few beams are struck. (Sometimes it’s due to driver error by temp workers, like Ted).

That high velocity ‘bump’ rippled to the Earth’s surface, which happened to be situated under Washington’s mighty mall. The sloping grade of the northern states allowed the tremorial ripple to flow northward, reaching Toronto, and peaking at Sudbury, where citizens can smell a faint residue of firewood from the storm drain gratings.

That’s my elaborate theory, concocted au naturelle, without caffeine, sugar, booze, or dope.



Mark R. Hasan, Editor
KQEK.com ( Main Site / Mobile Site )

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