{"id":7831,"date":"2010-06-24T10:07:35","date_gmt":"2010-06-24T17:07:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mondomark.com\/wordpress\/?p=792"},"modified":"2010-06-24T10:07:35","modified_gmt":"2010-06-24T17:07:35","slug":"a-mid-week-pause-in-t-o","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kqek.com\/mobile\/?p=7831","title":{"rendered":"A Mid-Week Pause in T.O."},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/a>

Oyba! It's the Big One!<\/p><\/div>\n

Today is one of those odd ones where during a week of eclectic news items, you have to pause (and not necessarily reflect), but just kind of go \u201cHuh?\u201d<\/p>\n

Before I get into the weirdness, I should point out that this alternate Editor\u2019s Blog (the mirror blog is http:\/\/mondomark.blogspot.com\/<\/a>)\u00a0is fully back, and functioning much better than, well, last year<\/em>. Still MIA are blogs from late April-early June, but that\u2019ll be settled shortly. The site still needs a few tweaks, but the main thing is it works<\/em>, which means the RSS feed for KQEK.com is back online, too.<\/p>\n

More important, though, is a problem that I never managed to fix. The server swap was to enable upgrading to more recent versions of Word Press, and to see if this thing called timthumb.php would work. It\u2019s a \u2018simple\u2019 script that places thumbnail images of posts on the main page and category indexes, and thanks to some tweaks done by the server\u2019s tech team, it finally works<\/em>. I still hate the thing for being so frustrating, but I just want to express an open thanks to the tech support at ehosting.ca<\/a>, because they solved the problem \u2013 something DumBell would never do for their customers.<\/p>\n

I was actually one of maybe a few people who didn\u2019t feel the Earthquake yesterday (which some have dubbed the Toronto Earthquake, which is dumb, seeing that serious damage occurred north of T.O. and the Gatineau<\/a> region).<\/p>\n

During the \u2018quake I was either still having lunch with a friend at Mother\u2019s Dumplings (really yummy food<\/a><\/strong>), or we were walking along Spadina, pausing once at an intersection so I could see the LCBO where one can now buy Aalborg<\/a>, the delicious Danish Akvavit in Ontario after something like a ten-year absence. (Demand for the amber drink was allegedly so low that either the LCBO stopped carrying it, or the booze maker gave up.)<\/p>\n

In any event, I felt not a quiver, which makes me wonder if the combination of dumplings (a minimum of 13 per person were consumed), smashed cucumber salad, and spring onion pancake aids in absorbing quake shocks. Maybe it\u2019s an inner ear thing, where excessive consumption of carb-rich dough matter fills the ear\u2019s main balancing device, the tinnoitium, with a thicker fluid that presents an illusion of vertical stability, so one is never aware that the earth is vibrating or tilting.<\/p>\n

Someone should study this in deeper detail.<\/p>\n

The only time I felt a quake was some years ago. One night I was half-awoken by the ringing of glass (specifically the water glasses on the night table) and the bed being rocked back and forth by what I thought were either angry miniature children, mischievous mice, or Pazuzu (him<\/a>).<\/p>\n

Turns out it was a quake, but it felt like an Exorcist<\/strong> moment (which actually wasn\u2019t my first. Years before that incident, my dad and I travelled to family friends living in Hammonton<\/a>, New Jersey \u2013 \u2018the blueberry capital of the world\u2019 \u2013 and their house happened to be situated on an old aquifer. Turned out it had gone dry, but because the delivery trucks used the main road to reach major highways, the corner bedroom shook whenever an 18-wheeler roared over the empty chamber under the street).<\/p>\n

Moving on.<\/p>\n

June marks the first month where the Toronto Underground Cinema<\/a> is open for regular business, and the old Carlton Cinema is set to open next week, on June 30th<\/a>, after a refurbishment by new owners Magic Lantern. Though the Carlton is nothing like the grand palace that sat at the corner until the seventies, the 9-screen cinema (formerly run by Cineplex Odeon) has been refitted with better seats and sound, and should please local film fans tired of making the long trek down to the city\u2019s ugliest intersection, Young & Dundas, to see films in the AMC megaplex (where it\u2019s apparently amazingly<\/em> easy to sneak into films because of the complex\u2019 size and lack of vigilance).<\/p>\n

The movie theatres may in fact enjoy steady business as the lakeshore is being transformed into an island of concrete, barbed wire, and a massive law enforcement presence. Most of the local media are having some obvious fun reporting on the absurdities that have manifested as the $1 billion thing \u2013 the G8, and more specifically, the G20 \u2013 are coming up fast.<\/p>\n

The Toronto Star cites the woes<\/a> of local businesses set to lose money due to closures. Some merchants have planned their own lock-up because locals and tourists aren\u2019t shopping, and the security measures are so disruptive that some businesses near the outer concrete condom feel the loss of cash is better than dealing with security checks, and being potentially close to anarchistic loons wanting to smash a few store windows.<\/p>\n

The National Post ran a great graphic of the condom\u2019s expansiveness (dubbed \u201cFortress Toronto<\/a>\u201d), which in photos<\/a> taken by outraged and amused citizens looks as grim as a snapshot of West Berlin during the Cold War years, and just as ridiculous. (The best of the latter involve GG, the \u2018mousy\u2019 G20 reporter, and Mr. T Bear, the city\u2019s most intrepid reporter.)<\/p>\n

Torontoist\u2019s latest tally of ruinous feats<\/a> includes the massive CycleCop presence that surrounded a particularly belligerent j-walker<\/a> (who was asking for it, really, by goading patio diners to chant of \u201cF–k you\u201d to the police); harassed photographers wanting some digital postcards of the condom; and I.D. cards that say \u201cOntairo.\u201d<\/p>\n

If you\u2019ve time, read this\u00a0blogTO piece<\/a>, and then scan down and read every<\/em> comment, because it\u2019s peppered with sometimes hysterically funny opinions, including more serious admissions of \u2018fortress\u2019 passersby with similarly bungled I.D.’s. Best comments: Ontario + Cairo = Ontairo, and a discussion with a commentator named \u201ckaka.\u201d<\/p>\n

If the $1 billion expenditure ends up wrangling a lot of nasty, belligerent exhibitionists and middling threats, then Harper will be vindicated for wasting the city\u2019s time and money for an event that can\u2019t possibly bring in the favourable international media attention and accolades and tourism he and his henchmen have been touting for months. If it fails, there\u2019s at least another major outrage (after proroguing parliament) that\u2019ll stain his polyester persona.<\/p>\n

At then end of it, though, it\u2019ll be dryly amusing to see how the local and provincial leaders will create their own spin: Mayor Miller will struggle to find some proof of tourist presence in T.O. when reports seem to infer a number are avoiding the city next week (the VIA trains that ferry people through the busy Toronto-Montreal corridor aren\u2019t even stopping at T.O.\u2019s train hub, Union Station); and Premier McGinty will try and walk some impossibly fine line in criticizing the disruption without actually doing anything stern in the face of Teflon Harper.<\/p>\n

In reading several posts and articles this past week, one does notice a number of nicknames that writers and interviewees have proscribed to the city of Toronto.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re visiting people out of country, one sometimes actually says To-ron-to, but locally it\u2019s Tronno, because that\u2019s just the way it is. We also use the abbreviation T.O., not because we feel we\u2019re a province unto ourselves, but because it\u2019s easy. Some also write the code YYZ, because that\u2019s the code on your luggage tag that reads \u201cthis dude or dudette is from Tronno.\u2019<\/p>\n

One name that I\u2019ve only heard lately \u2013 and I\u2019ve been living in this dopey city since birth \u2013 is The Big Smoke. (We called in the army to shovel snow; we have low water pressure and we live beside a lake<\/em>; and for 25 years no one knows what to do about the Gardiner Expressway except dream up divisive drawrings. We\u2019re dopey. It’s a factoid.)<\/p>\n

The city has many nicknames, but perhaps this picture and prose<\/a> explain The Big Smoke origin. The ever-accurate Wikipedia (ahem) has a few other names, including Hogtown, which I\u2019ve always liked because \u2018city of pigs\u2019 has healthy mental grounding affect whenever the city thinks its \u2018World Class\u2019 (a term likely stemming from MegaCity Mel<\/a> in his Melnoidal prime) and \u2018the most ethnically diverse city on the planet\u2019 (a phrase invented by publicists with no basis in hard head-counting, gene-sampling fact).<\/p>\n

We do have Mother\u2019s Dumplings, however, and the fact you can buy kalonji<\/a> (black onion seed), Costoluto Genovese<\/a> tomatoes, Malaysian and Berbere spice mixes, eat Japanese black sesame ice cream, and finally get Aalborg locally is frankly awesome.<\/p>\n

Besides, our skyline is quite beautiful<\/a>, with the CN Towner complimented by the SkyDome that the province sold for a dime in times of desperation to Rogers, the negative-billing pioneer who transformed the fire sale purchase of the massively over-budgeted stadium into the Rogers Centre, and purchased rival company Fido and, according to original subscribers, wrecked it.<\/p>\n

Ahem.<\/p>\n

.<\/p>\n

.<\/p>\n

Mark R. Hasan<\/strong>, Editor
\nKQEK.com<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Editor’s Blog on the weird n’ wacky things happening this week: Earthquakes, fences, “Ontairo,” and “kaka”… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p8nuyW-22j","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kqek.com\/mobile\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7831"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kqek.com\/mobile\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kqek.com\/mobile\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kqek.com\/mobile\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kqek.com\/mobile\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7831"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/kqek.com\/mobile\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7831\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kqek.com\/mobile\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7831"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kqek.com\/mobile\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7831"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kqek.com\/mobile\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7831"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}