DVD: Schoolgirl Report #9: Mature Before Graduation / Schulmädchen-Report 9: Reifeprüfung vor dem Abitur (1975)

November 29, 2012 | By

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Film: Good/ DVD Transfer: Good/ DVD Extras: n/a

Label: Impulse Pictures / Synapse Films/ Region: 0 (NTSC) / Released: November 13, 2012

Genre: Erotica / Mockumentary

Synopsis: Two police officers manage to recall for the benefit of audiences the sordid lives of schoolgirls after a ruinous car accident.

Special Features: (none)

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Review:

“Do schoolgirls have to behave like this?”

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Apparently, they do.

Once again director Walter Boos and writer Gunther Heller investigate the unruly behaviour of young girls in the 9th chapter of their bullshit documentary series about changing times / changing libidos, but this time things go off with a bang. At the crack of dawn, high school brats emerge from a house and proceed to drive recklessly on the country highway, eventually losing control of their automoboobles and nearly killing everyone in a rollover accident (which, at least as filmed with a stunt car and dummies, should have killed a few bubbleheads).

As two older station officers go over the names of each girl, completely ignoring the documented fact men were behind each car’s steering wheel, they launch vignettes featuring the case histories of the girls in what may be Boos and Heller’s most preposterous narrative.

Petra Klassman (Gina Janseen, later to appear in SR # 10 and further erotic films) gets married to spite her parents, but when she ‘imagines’ how her future will be with Horst the auto mechanic, the couple soon separate, yet choose to attend the party together the day before that fateful car crash. (The ‘hotel’ where the couple’s honeymoon is repeatedly interrupted by a keyhole-spying matron shows up redecorated in a later story.)

Addressing the camera directly (and somewhat mucking up Boos’ already wonky structure), Tessy Van Straaten (Eva Leuze, soon to disappear from the silver screen after Vanessa in 1977) has trouble convincing boyfriend Paul, a painter, that she’s all grown up and within her rights to attend a sex orgy at the house of wayward classmate Lilo (Puppa Armbruster, in her final SR film) during the ‘one-time’ extended holiday of both parents and housemaid. Concerned for her mushy’s safety, Paul spikes the teen’s huge punch bowl with sleeping medication which not only knocks out the group and allows him to whisk Tessy away to safety, but causes those experiencing an impenetrable REM state to flatulate ad hoc.

Ach so.

Next on the policemen’s discussion list is Susanne Strohmeyer, one of the few kids knocked out cold from the accident. Best & bosomy buddy Elke Parsberg (Uschi Karnat, aka adult actress Sandra Nova) tells the supervising doctor of Susanne’s sordid life, which includes getting knocked up by her scumbag stepfather. Oddest piece of set décor: the grotesque cover of Joe Cocker’s 1969 LP With a Little Help from My Friends is tacked onto the wall; in a later story its matching poster appears on another character’s wall. The filmmakers’ shared admiration for the swaggering singer, perhaps?

The next story is the second-weakest of the lot simply because the attempt at comedy meanders: Katja (Christine Szenetra, from SR#8) expects some trouble in introducing her boyfriend to her utterly square parents but discovers they’ve taken self-styled ‘hipness’ classes to learn the lingo, dance moves, and clothes of their contemporary daughter. The broad physical actions of the parents is painful to watch, and Boos makes a grievous error in judgment by focusing too much on the parents’ efforts to learn key aspects of ‘hipness’ rather than showing his younger & more attractive characters in their birthday suits.

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“They behave like this and in many different ways, but in most cases, they’re a lot better than their reputation.”

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The following story (and the weakest) dramatizes how Claudia (Marianne Dupont, from SR#7 thru 12)) is incapable of following through with any foreplay or sex because of a traumatic experience from her childhood: seeing a woodsy flasher reveal a strap-on phallus almost as big as The Beast’s [M]. Only after she sees poor Achim being wheeled through the hospital in a gurney does she realize her phallus phobia can indeed be attenuated by genuine love.

The last story which wraps up the film has Monika struggling with bad grades, an abusive father, and a bum boyfriend with a classic porn star moustache who suggests if she offers herself to a self-employed buddy, he might finally be able to get a full-time job and have some self-respect. Realizing he’s been an utter dummkopf, he tries to intervene before she’s deflowered by rushing to the party where all the kids in this story have assembled.

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“The parents should learn to understand that not the young people have changed, but the times they live in, grow up in, and have to mature in.

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Although Boos essentially delivers the same format as prior SR installments, it’s a less sharp balance of erotica and absurdity, and the structure is a bit more clunky. These things may be of lesser concern for series fans wanting just bosoms, bums, and mushies, but part of the series’ er, charm, lies in the buoyant silliness of watching twentysomething actors playing snotty teens being rebellious in clichéd scenarios about jealousy, virginity, and disapproving parents under the banner of some ersatz morality banner. Boos would continue direct further chapters (#10, 12 and 13), but one senses at this juncture the franchise was growing older and lacked fresh material to spoof, leaving many of the actresses to either move on to other erotic and adult streams, or bow out of their magical showbiz careers.

Impulse’s DVD features a standard transfer the uncut German version with optional English subtitles.

Entries in this series include The School Girls (1970), #2: Der neue Schulmädchenreport (1971), #3: Schoolgirls Growing Up (1972), #4: Campus Swingers (1972), #5: Naughty Freshmen (1973), #6: What Parents Would Gladly Hush Up (1973), #7: What the Heart Must Thereby… [M] (1974), #8: Was Eltern nie erfahren dürfen [M] (1974), #9: Reifeprüfung vor dem Abitur (1975), #10: Smartie Pants (1976), #11: Blue Dreams (1977), #12: Carnal Campus (1978), and #13: Vergiss beim Sex die Liebe nicht (1980).

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© 2012 Mark R. Hasan

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External References:

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